Yeah, you’ve been watching old reruns of American Chopper (badly translated into your language of choice), and you’re thinking “shit man, I’ve got my grandpa’s old Izh back in the barn- I can customize that baby and sell it for a fortune !!!”
Of course you ain’t got no cash, and the cameras ain’t rolling… so you make do with the scrap laying around the farm. After a few months work and a coat of housepaint, VOILA! Your own custom….erm, “chopper”.
So this one’s dedicated to all those guys who shouldn’t be allowed to play with wrenches:
![](http://Fleshandrelics.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/bad1.jpg) |
Step 2- learn how to paint flames… 50cc Simson |
![](http://Fleshandrelics.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/bad2.jpg) |
Step 3- Learn how to paint flames that don’t look like barf after a gallon of cheap red wine. The BMW sticker adds a nice touch though. |
![](http://Fleshandrelics.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/2293983780062237293S500x500Q85.jpg) |
If this guy lived near me, I’d be worried. |
![](http://Fleshandrelics.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/awesome1.jpg) |
Nice chain on an extreme lowrider. Probably not safe to take off the sidewalk. |
![](http://Fleshandrelics.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/Bling.jpg) |
The King of Bling |
![](http://Fleshandrelics.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/IMG_4050.jpg) |
Harley owner with a Vespa fetish… |
![](http://Fleshandrelics.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/joebodysrocket12000b2eh.jpg) |
Currently known as “Jobody the Legless Wonder”. 99% sure this is Photoshop, but… |
![](http://Fleshandrelics.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/moto_three_lrg.jpg) |
Fuck fiberglass… |
![](http://Fleshandrelics.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/teerrugvoorwoorden.jpg) |
I don’t even know what to think about this. I’m almost hoping it’s a photoshop job. |
![](http://Fleshandrelics.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/triumph_t120_chopper.jpg) |
What NOT to do to a Triumph. |
![](http://Fleshandrelics.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/you_have_a_2x4_wood_moto_chopper.jpg) |
When you can’t find scrap metal, use firewood. |
Of course, even the “Pros” have some days when the design team and the mechanics are mixing different classes of drugs….
![](http://Fleshandrelics.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/m-org-custom.jpg) |
Yellow wheels are innovative. The rest of it looks like they mixed too much broccoli with some bad acid. |
![](http://Fleshandrelics.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/gay3.jpg) |
What do ya mean ya ran out of chromium for the plating tank ??? |
![](http://Fleshandrelics.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/27f7148c6ec5t.jpg) |
Frankenballs |
![](http://Fleshandrelics.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/168530252Cxcitefun-cool-chopper-3.jpg) |
I think the one with the freaky mannikin inspired this… |
![](http://Fleshandrelics.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/b46cac8f9ecdt.jpg) |
And almost sure this one was cut out of the back of a Japanese breakfast cereal box. |
I could probably add 90% of everything Paul Teutel Jr. ever touched, but that would just be monotonous.
REMEMBER KIDS: Just because it sounds like a great idea after the 5th bong hit, that doesn’t mean it is a great idea 😉
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